Monday, December 9, 2013

Fun Bags and Party Plans

This is a strange week for blogging. I have an appointment with the breast surgeon on Monday to discuss whether or not she wants to biopsy the lump that she found, you know... the lump that may or may not be something? But because the appointment is taking place  after I typically would post a blog update, I figured I would take this opportunity to update my readers on some of the planning I've been doing.

My New and Improved Boobs with Decreased Cancer Risk
First of all, I want you to know that as a rule, I call body parts by their real names, the anatomical ones. But when talking about fun-new-fake breasts, "boobs" seems like the most appropriate term. So my new boobs, or dare I say fun bags, (which I'm only saying because it works so well for this posts title) will be slightly larger than my current 34Bs, yet not big enough that they require the wearing of a bra. (Yuck! Hate them. I try to avoid them at all costs except when necessary professionally or for lactation reasons). Actually, I'm less concerned about the size of the new boobs and more concerned about their perkiness .  I want my boobs perky. Really, really perky. Even unnaturally perky. Because, let’s face it, they aren't real anyway, so I'm okay with them looking “so good they have to be fake”.

Planning for my 40th Birthday Party
The Location - Flat Bread Pizza in Somerville, Mass. The food is amazing, they always play great music, it's child friendly, and they serve adult friendly cocktails. Plus they have a bowling alley which justifies creating the invitations described below.

The Invitations - Since the party is at a candle pin bowling alley and it's in celebration of both my 40th birthday and a reveal of my new and improved boobs, the invite will feature a photograph of me holding bowling balls up to my chest. Of course the balls will have the numbers 4 and 0 displayed on them. Clever right?

The Look - Keri Russel as she appeared on Watch What Happens Live:

1. My hair could actually do this.
2. Because I love anything that has anything to do with Andy Cohen or Watch What Happens Live.
3. I think a low cut jumpsuit is perfect for both bowling and showing off my new body.
4. Keri and I have a lot in common.  Yeah, I know I already did the celebrity comparison thing with Angelina Jolie ( but in the late 90's, I was told I looked like Keri (or more specifically her character Felicity) a lot. I think it was because we both had long curly hair and I, like Felicity, have the tendency to get stuck in my own head. So it seems that emulating Keri Russell's look is a good fit, especially when she looks so damn hot.

The Entertainment - As you might recall, on the night I found out I was brca1 positive, my husband and I stayed up all night long. That night we created a list of dream bands/singers I would want to play at my 40th birthday party (this was in August before Lou Reed passed away.) So here is that dream list, in no particular order:

1. Billy Idol
2. Lou Reed
3. The Replacements
4. The Pixies
5. Duran Duran
7. Frank Turner
8. Corey Hart
9. Bruce Springsteen
10. Iggy Pop

I know I have a few musician friends out there, so if anyone knows anyone who can hook a sister up, it would be much appreciated.

No comments:

Post a Comment